Sunday, September 4, 2011

A Rant on Life!


Life presents itself in strange ways. Its dynamism is not hidden from any soul. It can be enriching as well as confusing. Often it leads you to a crossroad and leaves you in a dilemma. One dilemma which really intrigues me is the choice of being “good” or “bad”. I suppose this choice makes for an interesting tussle between the head and the heart.

A few of you would like to think – What kind of a crossroad is this! After all, have you not been brought up in such families where you have been preached virtues? At every little step in your life, be it your home, your classroom, your playground, your college or your company- you have been told to be either plain good or be good competitors. So this dilemma should be a cakewalk. Simple life, simple answer. Life, though, is complicated enough to put you in a fix at times.

 When a friend in office walks up to you and tells you in a concerned manner – “You should not be so naïve”, you know that person is not teaching you evil. It’s just that you should know that the reward for good work is more work. That if you are always truthful, you might end up getting used up by your boss while your other colleagues make merry. That it is an art to be fake at work. You know the meaning when the smarter crook gets promoted before the honest worker.

You might belong to that category who likes to be “liked” by “everyone”. As a result of this desire, have you ever felt torn apart because you had been put in a situation where you were being forced to choose sides? Have you ever been lonely and sad with a thought that all you wanted to do was to be simply good to everyone? If you have, you probably understand this dilemma. 

You might even belong to a category when you were once cheated upon by your friend with your beloved. Were you then brave enough to put your friendship above everything else? Or did your broken heart succumb to the temptation of pain and anger? Which path did you take? Did you become immortal at that stage of life or were you like the usual lesser mortals? You know the easy and the difficult way out, and you know the dilemma.

You might have probably heard this gem from a dear one – “You are too good for this world”. You wish this could be taken as the best compliment ever given to you. You wish you could go on cloud nine after listening to this. After all, being too good for this world should probably be license enough for you to be “the super achiever”. This, however, is just an indication that you are probably morally too correct and practically not what you are expected to be. Being “too good for the world” shows that there is way to go yet. Way to go where? To stoop down to the level of others? Towards a frightening darkness probably! A strange dilemma!

“I am taken for granted”, is probably the most common feeling which erupts right out of this dilemma. You might belong to that category that would never shy away from being a “giver”. At the same time, you, as a normal human being, would crave for love and attention You, however might get yourself into a situation when your goodwill is not getting reciprocated enough or not getting reciprocated at all. People start expecting you to be a perennial “giver”. This is where you might start to think –“Oh God! I am always being taken for granted. May be people think I am stupid”. At this stage, you might follow one of the two ways. One of them is the inception of this thought in your head-“When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. And that is my religion.” If you choose this, chances are you would end up getting used more often than not. Another way is to let this thought of being taken for granted flourish in your mind and you stop being a “giver”. You would then run the risk of being labeled as someone who is “no longer the same person” and in worse circumstances even a “jerk”. You would be surprised to see that public memory is very short. Confusing, is it?

This ranting from me could go on endlessly. I would not be taking sides here. I would rather leave you with this dilemma. I will let you decide whether the after-glow of doing something good and selfless or the satisfaction that flows from authentic giving and values, is worthy enough to match the actions which are motivated by self concern.  The ease with which you are able to sort this out is probably an indication of how simple or complicated your life is at this moment. Take your pick.  

19 comments:

  1. hhmmm...nice one.Even i have gone thru this dilemma... n i too picked one of the choices.
    n ya i understand what u thot before u wrote this.
    nways as always wonderfully expressed ur thoughts....:-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I see you have put some very interesting observations forward. And I dare say they can not be more true. The world I feel is binary. Either people are good or not good(I am not saying bad :P). You can not be both. The real problems start when you try to balance out both the extremes.
    Anyways...thumbs up to your post. I could relate so much to it. :-)
    Hoping to see a new one soon.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "you are too good for this world" huh? :)
    See you wanna be good, fine be good..be all-giving and a man of principles all u want but stop expecting the same of others-that's where you get hurt.
    2)Don't be naive does not mean don't be good. Be good..cos that's a choice you're making.. but be so with the knowledge that you will probably not be appreciated for it. And with the knowledge of where to draw the line. If people take you for granted, it's because u let them. It is more your fault than theirs..

    well..i could go on for hours..:P
    but in a nutshell..wanting to be liked by all is a recipe for disaster.

    Learn to take care of yourself man! no one else is gonna take care of you..and stop caring so much about what others think!
    ok i'm gonna stop now! :P

    ReplyDelete
  4. You don't choose to be " good " or " bad " , People always get to know what you are.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Thank You Jassi and Anshul. Relating to the topic is always very important. Thanks for all the words of encouragement.

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Sugandha : I am glad you commented in a critical way rather than the cheesy way. I agree with most of what you have said. One important thing though is: This was not an "About Me" post. I would not relate to nearly half of what I have written here.Many things have also been picked up from what I have observed rather than what I have been through. Anyways,thanks a ton for the frank opinion/concern.

    ReplyDelete
  7. No Himanshu,I disagree.People can easily be fake. It's very easy to get fooled.You sometimes don't know whether someone is good or bad.

    ReplyDelete
  8. People in general are prone to finding faults in others..we all do it...Being judgmental about others...
    i agree with your point that people have a short memory ...
    so i guess it doesn't really matter ....
    at the end of the day you will be what you are...

    ReplyDelete
  9. hey mridul , well written . seriously life brings u to a crossroad where u dont know which sides to pick , what is wrong or what is right , hw to react and most importantly which path to follow-- the easier one or he righteous one . Theres a line fro the film MATRIX -- there's a difference between knowing the path and walking on the path. i just hope we all might narrrow down this difference that it ceases to exist one day . Well , more importance should be given to how we feel about ourselves rather than what people think about ourselves . The feeling "that i am taken for granted " or "i am too gud aor too bad " should be superpowered by the feelings that come from within . But as always said its really very easy to say than to really act upon ..
    keep writing . waiting for more of ur stuffs :))

    ReplyDelete
  10. Well written as usual.. Different from YOUR previous posts but not very different from the posts we get generally to read.
    Crossroads. Dilemma. Good to everyone. Taken for granted. Chose. Live. Life. Lol!
    Waiting for more from u.

    ReplyDelete
  11. @Rahul and Neesha : Thanks for your views. Thanks for reading and words of encouragement :-)

    ReplyDelete
  12. @Arjit : Crossroads. Dilemma. Good to everyone. Taken for granted. Chose. Live. Life. Lol! Even I had a similar feeling once I finished this post. I would look forward to chose something not very typical next time around. Thanks for all the encouragement.

    ReplyDelete
  13. To start with .. well written as usual!!
    Well there are circumstances when one needs to behave pragmatically. Being too good certainly harms you at times. For example If you are doing charity with every single penny you are earning, you may get the inner peace or some satiating inner feeling but you will have a hard time feeding yourself or your family.
    So one needs to decide how much good he can afford to be:)

    ReplyDelete
  14. While reading, it appeared to be a sequel to ur last post. Now, sequels arent bad either and in fact i actually loved the micro perception you took on this particular antiquated topic of good and bad. The last para is the booster dose; the question which you left at the end is worth having a thought. Lastly, for ppl who knw the code behind they can overluk dose lil flaws in output bt as a coder u shud code for a layman :) Will leave you with a question, i.e., wen d nxt one is cmin?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Thank You Ashutosh and Robin :-) ... And even I don't know when is the next one coming :-) Because I am hoping to write something interesting this time .

    ReplyDelete
  16. I was to comment before Arjit but My gmail had it's own Dilemma and crossroads..:-)
    Anyway,Mridul you have written beautifully and cleanly if we neglect the vaguness in subject itself.
    In my opinion ( better say I follow) ,the path which favours the larger interest is the path to be chosen.I am bad for many but doing good for many more ( at least one more than those) on one path then I will choose that.So much philosophies are there against it but let it be.One more thing, this article made me to measure my own convictions one more time and i am thankful to you for this. Let it be at least a monthly effect if you can't agree for more..:-)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thank You Amit . I will try to make this a monthly affair as far as possible :-)

    ReplyDelete
  18. as a writer for the people u sud have taken different issue and as a individual who writes for himself u have done a good job"

    ReplyDelete