Life presents itself in strange ways. Its dynamism is not hidden from any soul. It can be enriching as well as confusing. Often it leads you to a crossroad and leaves you in a dilemma. One dilemma which really intrigues me is the choice of being “good” or “bad”. I suppose this choice makes for an interesting tussle between the head and the heart.
A few of you would like to think – What kind of a crossroad is this! After all, have you not been brought up in such families where you have been preached virtues? At every little step in your life, be it your home, your classroom, your playground, your college or your company- you have been told to be either plain good or be good competitors. So this dilemma should be a cakewalk. Simple life, simple answer. Life, though, is complicated enough to put you in a fix at times.
When a friend in office walks up to you and tells you in a concerned manner – “You should not be so naïve”, you know that person is not teaching you evil. It’s just that you should know that the reward for good work is more work. That if you are always truthful, you might end up getting used up by your boss while your other colleagues make merry. That it is an art to be fake at work. You know the meaning when the smarter crook gets promoted before the honest worker.
You might belong to that category who likes to be “liked” by “everyone”. As a result of this desire, have you ever felt torn apart because you had been put in a situation where you were being forced to choose sides? Have you ever been lonely and sad with a thought that all you wanted to do was to be simply good to everyone? If you have, you probably understand this dilemma.
You might even belong to a category when you were once cheated upon by your friend with your beloved. Were you then brave enough to put your friendship above everything else? Or did your broken heart succumb to the temptation of pain and anger? Which path did you take? Did you become immortal at that stage of life or were you like the usual lesser mortals? You know the easy and the difficult way out, and you know the dilemma.
You might have probably heard this gem from a dear one – “You are too good for this world”. You wish this could be taken as the best compliment ever given to you. You wish you could go on cloud nine after listening to this. After all, being too good for this world should probably be license enough for you to be “the super achiever”. This, however, is just an indication that you are probably morally too correct and practically not what you are expected to be. Being “too good for the world” shows that there is way to go yet. Way to go where? To stoop down to the level of others? Towards a frightening darkness probably! A strange dilemma!
“I am taken for granted”, is probably the most common feeling which erupts right out of this dilemma. You might belong to that category that would never shy away from being a “giver”. At the same time, you, as a normal human being, would crave for love and attention You, however might get yourself into a situation when your goodwill is not getting reciprocated enough or not getting reciprocated at all. People start expecting you to be a perennial “giver”. This is where you might start to think –“Oh God! I am always being taken for granted. May be people think I am stupid”. At this stage, you might follow one of the two ways. One of them is the inception of this thought in your head-“When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. And that is my religion.” If you choose this, chances are you would end up getting used more often than not. Another way is to let this thought of being taken for granted flourish in your mind and you stop being a “giver”. You would then run the risk of being labeled as someone who is “no longer the same person” and in worse circumstances even a “jerk”. You would be surprised to see that public memory is very short. Confusing, is it?
This ranting from me could go on endlessly. I would not be taking sides here. I would rather leave you with this dilemma. I will let you decide whether the after-glow of doing something good and selfless or the satisfaction that flows from authentic giving and values, is worthy enough to match the actions which are motivated by self concern. The ease with which you are able to sort this out is probably an indication of how simple or complicated your life is at this moment. Take your pick.
