Monday, May 24, 2010

It 'was' a Beautiful Evening!



He was late again.. Every bone of his body demanding mercy.. Every corner of his room seeking attention.. He glanced through the pile of clothes lying on the table, the table clock kept on the sofa.. He needed a comb but could not find one..He just lay down to relax..He soon got up as the pile of books fell from his bed.. He took his laptop to check specifications of his new project..Some bottlenecks had emerged in the project and he had to rectify them..It was a tough assignment but he was not the one to shy away from difficulties.. He had no fear , not anymore.. Feeling tired, he put his
head down... Hardly a minute had passed when he heard a knock on the door... It was her!!

She was wearing a soft white dress.He was amazed by her long brown hair , pink lips , beautiful eyelashes...God she was looking gorgeous... He smiled, " Are you an angel? "... She chuckled ,"Yes of course. Now wont you ask this angel to come in ?" He kissed her hand , " Please come in my dear angel "... She came in and looked around ... It was a flat as neat as one can find , with beautiful paintings on the wall... " My God!! Your flat looks like an exhibition hall..." He quipped, " And an angel is humble enough to grace my exhibition hall today.. " It was now the turn of her million dollar smile to show up .. 'How can someone look so beautiful!' ,he wondered.


Her serene voice interrupted his thoughts... "Sufi , I have to tell you something very important. My Dad wants to meet you sometime soon. I told him about you . So when you meet him , be the best.This will be huge. You probably dont know how much this means to me.This is something I have waited for so long. Our love is finally going to bear fruits Sufi. I am thrilled."
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"You know sweetheart, I always fear I might lose you".."I am definitely not taking any chances, I would definitely be my best".."This means a lot to me too.. But Right now its getting late.. I would drive you home".

It was the most beautiful night. The soft breeze was playing with her hair . The moonlight was glowing on her face. She was excited as a child to see the stars ."Those look lovely Sufi. I wish I was as pretty as these stars". He drove her past the most beautiful garden of the city. There was a heavenly fragrance of flowers all around . But he knew that fragrance was nothing compared to her fragrance. As he looked at her, he knew he wanted her that very moment. They leaned closer and her beautiful trembling lips started coming close to his. He was gripped by her aroma. Their eyes started closing for
that perfect kiss. Alas, came the loud crashing noise with her scream!

His eyes opened that very moment .. " I should probably change and sleep ", he muttered.. He looked at his crutches, with tears in his eyes, his heart still filled with regret.. With their help he moved towards the window and looked outside..It was the most beautiful night.. There was that soft breeze . .There was that beautiful moonlight .. And yes, there were those twinkling stars.. He could see her among those beautiful stars.. She wanted to be as pretty as them. .She had got her wish. .Life without her was insipid .. He could still see her though, and still feel her fragrance..He knew that time would fly, but the fragrance of their love would last forever.


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19 comments:

  1. Even before i started reading, i was sure of reading some quality stuff. and i am totally 'not disappointed'.. its sweet, short, crisp..without any of the non sense...awesome piece of writing.. keep it up..

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  2. A romantic stuff...i din't expect this. :) Plain and beautiful writing.it was easy to synchronize with the words and emotions of writer.

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  3. bhht achchhe mridulji.. bhht sahi.. loved it... aur likhte rahiye..

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  4. Great piece of work.. now i know where all the Fantasy league stuffs came from... Keep writing.. :)

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  5. Good stuff...romance...people can always create magic with stylus...ever since d inception...you keep writing...you write good.

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  6. it was too good...i lyked it vry much..vry romantic n touchy..specially d nite breeze,i can still feel it...keep it up bhaiya..ek din aap love story likhoge :)

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  7. great piece of literary work...we got to explore this side of urs which was hidden..good going and keep writing!!!:)

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  8. Excellent job dude!!! Pehle ball me hi chakka???Looking forward to more such elegant n beautiful posts from you... Keep up the good work... Keep the spirit alive!! Keep rockin!! :)

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  9. beautiful.the beginning plot is like a normal love story,but the later half is awesome.expecting more pieces like this n even better.:)

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  10. An honest opinion as asked:

    Well written, language wise. Impressive work with the imagery :)

    Content wise, don't like it. Too mushy and way too pitiful. But considering other comments, probably its my personal bias :)

    keep venting \m/

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  11. A really heartrending piece.. too good to be your first post!!! :)

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  12. Nice use of language. Keep it up!

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  13. @Everyone : Thanks for the comments you all have given..I am definitely encouraged to write more.. Thanks to Shashank for telling some demerits too.. And I would like to know who is Akshay here.. I know more than one and there is no profile of yours which I can access from here to actually find out your identity :)

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  14. already so many nice comments....need more?
    it's a typical mridul style writing-direct,fascinating,emotional and optimistic...good to see u writing

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  15. A Serene piece .... short , crisp and hits where it ought to .
    I second aks's comment .." typical Mridul stuff"
    Keep penning ...

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  16. wow!it was good..romance was very cute..actual feeling of writer was dere..with full description of things..:D(note:refer chatan bhagats buk)..bt here everything was sweet..with clarity..dats gud..if u try more u can take nyone to fantasy world very easily through ur writings...good going...:)

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  17. i was really touched...it was like reading some para of a romantic novel.So deep n fascinating.

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